just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
