I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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