I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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