Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
