arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize