he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
