he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
