We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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