My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
