AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
