tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize