Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
