Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
