Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
if only i could text you this smell
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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