He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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