the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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