He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
