It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
