Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
