We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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