The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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