Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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