wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
