i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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