I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
