Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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