Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
