me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
