I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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