when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
