we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
