1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I want a musical about memes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
