Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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