Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Actions speak louder than pants.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
