So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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