these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
