You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You need Xanax blowdarts
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
