He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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