She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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