So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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