Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
