god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
