You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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