she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
