It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
