Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My vagina is officially offended.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
