the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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