dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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