Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Bring me that man meat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize