this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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