i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
