We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
