Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
