We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
