mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
