Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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