I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
