I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
