dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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