You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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