help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I want to be your penis for a week.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
