My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize