Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
