I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
