You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize