great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
