remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
