Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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